E! Online (UK) - The Awful Truth


Thursday, August 17, 2006

Kelly Clarkson's Naughty Side ?

Kelly Clarkson reportedly downed a bottle of liquor with Ryan Key, the singer of the band Yellowcard, at the Metal Skool concert at the Key Club before jumping up on stage where she ended up tearing off her vest and throwing it into the crowd.

Let me see, everybody has camera phones these days, they should be recovering from their hangovers and uploading a clip soon. If I can find one, it'll be here.


Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Expect Naked Nicole Richie Photos Soon

If I was Nicole Richie and I was desperate to get some attention, I would do what other skanks have done before me. Arrange to have naked hardcore shots of me show up on the internet "against my wishes".

The story here is laughably transparent, Nicole had a camera with a memory card full of sexy nude photos of her and a lot of friends. She lost this in a crowded bar and had staff frantically look for it while she sat in the corner acting upset. It's transparent but not stupid. She gets press now and she can wait til later to decide whether or not the pics actually "accidentally" show up on the internet. What would it do for her self esteem if she knew how to use the internet and found out how few people are actually looking for nude pics of Nicole Richie? 6 Million for Paris versus 600,000 for Nicole. Just to put things in perspective, I also googled my name and the words nude pics and got 172,000 pages. I look good naked, but I am not a celebrity and I don't generally put my full name on the net.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Jennifer Aniston Talkin' 'Bout the Nude Thang

Jennifer Aniston is finding herself publicly mentioning the nudity in The Break-Up several times a day in an effort to increase the movie's box office revenue. Here is the latest blurb:
"It's nerve-wracking and you have to pretend you are at ease. My sweet hair and makeup and wardrobe assistants wanted to make me feel better and I remember coming into the room after a take and they'd all taken their shirts off."

Sunday, July 02, 2006

"Cocaine is a Helluva Drug"

Multi-platinum producer Dallas Austin told the judge that he unintentionally broke the law by bringing cocaine into the United Arab Emirates, which has a strict policy against illegal drugs. I think this is completely understandable, he comes from a country that has declared a 'WAR ON DRUGS'. If a country doesn't declare war, how is an innocent drug packin' playa supposed to know that they have a problem with drugs?

He was on is way to Naomi Campbell's birthday party when he was arrested in May. He can't get bail, but he hoping for a pardon.


Monday, June 19, 2006

Eva Longoria Will Write An EROTIC Book

It's not a suprise to read the word 'erotic' in the announcement. The word 'ghostwriter' was conspicuously absent.

Hopefully it will be available in LARGE PRINT, because its primary purpose has been rumored to make people go blind.


Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Unhappy Endings: Kevin Costner Named as Massage Room Towel Dropper

Kevin Costner is accused of performing a ‘disgusting’ sex act before a hotel masseuse. A gagging order had prevented his name being published in Britain where his behaviour was at the centre of an industrial tribunal hearing.

What makes this story a little more interesting is that this happemed during his Honeymoon


Thursday, April 13, 2006

Nichole Richie Is Nasty

Why are all these skanky celebrities trying to mess up the wholesome children of America? First it was Lindsay Lohan showing her butt flap to the Nickelodeon crowd, and now Nicole Richie is supposed to have asked an 11 year old boy if he thought she was a MILF.

OK here is what is wrong with that:

He is a minor, if you want to get into semantics, she basically asked him if he wanted to fuck her. I think that is a crime in lots of places.

M is for MOTHER...she is not a mother.

If he paid attention in health class and during Nicole's three seasons of being a slut on FOX, he'd know he's better off playing with the discarded needles he found in the alley.

Women with 20% body fat or more are much better in bed than these lollipop bags of bones that manage to get famous for no good reason.